more random drabbling

[dragonofdispair]

i really don't know what's gotten into me. it's not like i don't have any real stories to be working on, yet i just can't stop playing with the random pairing generator. it's like an addiction. maybe i need a support group. random pairing fic writers anonymous, maybe? but RPFWA really isn't that great an acronym...

Title: Things You Don't Trust Your Subordinates With
Rating: definitely T/PG-13 or higher.
Warnings/Disclaimer: Crack! Mech smex. Don't like, Don't read. I don't own any of the mechs.
Pairing/Characters: Optimus/Megatron, Jazz. possibly Optimus/Megatron/Jazz
Summary: Response to the prompt Optimus Prime / Megatron / awkward. "Prime," Megatron growled, "Tell your flunky to shut up and help."

let me know if you spot any mistakes and i'll fix them.



It really said something about Jazz that his first response was to fall over laughing.

Optimus had hoped the silver 'bot would have been more mature about this, but he'd sort of expected it. Still he was beginning to regret calling the saboteur, but Jazz probably was the best choice. Lessee... Ironhide would have just blown a gasket. Ratchet... Ratchet too, it just would have been a different gasket. And Bumblebee would have just been traumatized for life.

No, Jazz really was the best choice, no matter how much Optimus wished otherwise. Hysterical laughter and all.

"Prime," Megatron growled from where he was sprawled beneath the Autobot leader, "Tell your flunky to shut up and help."

Optimus would have really, really liked to do just that, but then Megatron shifted just so and any words were lost in a feedback screech of pleasure.

"Having... hehe... problems?" Jazz managed to force out between giggles.

Megatron's answering growl wasn't nearly as menacing as usual with static from holding back his own feedback screech distorting the sound.

Besides, Optimus thought dazedly as he listened to their cooling systems, one couldn't order Jazz to pass up the chance to laugh at something. It was like ordering Sideswipe to stop pulling pranks -- at best you were ignored and at worst the pictures ended up framed in the rec room.

So until Jazz ceased his gigglefest, there was really nothing -- "Primusdamnit Megatron, that's sensitive" -- he and Megatron could do but endure being tangled up in each other's wires.

It was a short eternity of cooling fans, and engine vibrations, and snarled threats in a voice gone staticky with pleasure that made Optimus squirm, and almost overloading before Jazz regained enough coherency to do anything.

"'Kay," Jazz's hand was pleasantly cool against heated plating, "Think I see th' Problem. First, I'll just untangle these..."

Optimus felt Jazz's smaller claws slide gently -- "Jazz! Is that really necessary?" -- along his neural wires where Megatron's claws had gotten caught. Prime just squirmed, optics flaring, as the wires were shifted to untangle the large hand.

Then Megatron's hand was free and Optimus sagged, cycling air, while Jazz moved on to prying his hand from between two of Megatron's armor plates. It was the Lord High Protector's turn to squirm and arch as the smaller Autobot manipulated his components. Megatron finally let out a feedback screech and Optimus smiled. He'd been trying to get that sound out of him all night.

Jazz was still snickering, though, and that completely killed the mood.

"Thank you," Optimus managed when his hand came loose, "I think we can manage the rest on our own."

"You sure, boss bot?" Jazz smirked and Prime thought, Whatever you're planning, you get waste disposal duty for the next twenty vorns! "'Cause I could just..." he reached for the tangled interface cords --

-- Optimus' vision went white.

fini



me: now can i work on my schoolwork? or at least on a real story?
jazz-muse: ... Dunno. Maybe.
me: ... COME OVER HERE SO MY CAT CAN EAT YOU, YOU LITTLE PAIN IN THE ASS!!

yeah... that's what it's like. my first attempt at any sort of interfacing/sex and jazz-muse turns it into a crackfic. i don't even 'ship optimus/megatron primusdamnit.